Balloon bursting bastards of Barking

First game of the season and we run into a group of Cardiff fans at 11am in McDonalds.  As you'd expect, there's Hammers fans everywhere.  We're on our home turf.  We're from London.  A five minute drive from the Boleyn, we've every right to be there, but us walking in to where they're having breakfast, doesn't go down well.  They eye us up on our "family" day out, grimace at our four kids in their Hammers' baseball caps like we've just stepped off the Nostromo or something, as they suck out the centres of their gherkins.

As we order food, obscenities from the far corner of Maccy D's start up.  Very uncomfortable.  Something along the lines that they would see us next Tuesday.

My mate, Mr Henderson - well, he's from Canada.  He's in a "Metal" band.  Well he thinks he's 'ard yer see.  He tells them to "shut the fuurck up" in his Montreal drawl.  Oh they don't like that.  All of a sudden there's a huge bang, then another, then another.  I actually thought it was a gun.  I really did.  I knew I ought to keep my cool and not turn around, but when do I ever do the right thing?  I turned around on the second or third gloop: as the Cardiff fans were leaving, they popped every single balloon in McD's crappy window display and swaggered off down Barking Road like they owned the world.

Great advert for British football.

How a small group of Cardiff fans managed to escape their police escort from South Mimms service station, we don't know.  And we didn't want to ask.  Earlier in the week, United had to suspend all ticket sales for the game due to a large quantity of ticket requests from South Wales.  First game of the season and West Ham had a potential infiltration on their hands.

Lots of reports in the press pitying Cardiff.  Such a shame that 'London based' Cardiff fans would have to travel to South Mimms just to pick up their tickets. 

What bloody "London based Cardiff fans" FFS?!  Maybe it was the ones in McDonald's?  Or maybe it was these guys with their particularly witty and humourless slogans?

We lost 0-1.  At home.  In the 91st minute.  First match of the season.  First match with Big Sam.  First match of the 'New Order'.  Scott Parker played like he'd left Upton Park already.  Oh, and three rows into the East Stand, we were drenched.

Welcome to the Championshit.  It's gonna be a bugger to get out of.