Small Heath Alliance show all you 'ooligans how it's done

"I control the city. I control Birmingham."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8MgXORP_pI

I found this video after one of my friends posted a YT classic of Hammers and Millwall going at each other's throats along Green Street in one of a number of pointless Facebook groups.

"No matter what nationality you are. If you support Birmingham City, you're a Zulu."

My family all support Villa. That should make me hate Birmingham right? That's the expectation. Certainly this ridiculous video doesn't inspire me to rush to the gates of St. Andrews and part with 800 quid of my hard earned dosh for a season ticket just so I can be part of this.

"Blues rule the city centre".

Blimey! That'll learn me next time I'm walking along New Street. This bunch think they're so flipping 'AArrrd' that in their so-called 'notorious battle' against Villa fans at Rocky Lane, a massive 15 arrests were made and their ringleader didn't even take part. That'll make the police cells of Small Heath bulgeon. "It'll never be forgotten." Well, I'm a Villa fan and I've never ever heard about it until I saw this clip. I bet Crystal Palace were quaking in their boots when these idiots turned up in London dressed at Hitler. Laughter alone should have been enough to make them skedaddle back up the M6.

I didn't post this in order to jump on the bandwagon of lectures against hooliganism and violence. There's enough of that. I just think the world needs to see how utterly childish this 'documentary' really is. I actually laughed my head off.

So what constitutes a hooligan? I've seen plenty of videos in this vein on YT tagged with 'West Ham hooligans on Green Street' which appear to be just a bunch of Hammers fans exiting from the Boleyn chanting. Is that hooliganism?

First game of this season at Upton Park and the home fans in the East Stand (my domain) were rounded up as they came out and ushered along towards Barking Road whether they wanted to go that way or not. Our route back to Castle Street was blocked by a posse of Met on horses. We were obliged to hang around on the corner of Barking Road waiting for the rest of our 'crew' to come out of West and find us. Well, I was told to "move along now love". Perhaps I was a threat to inciting violence. Perhaps I was exhibiting hooligan behaviour. Who knows? I'm not saying that the problem doesn't exist, it does, but in this Nanny State, we now over-use the word to label any football fan who's just a bit happy.

In today's climate where rioting and looting have become part of our tabloid diet, it does make me wonder what sort of mentality 'One Eyed Baz' from Handsworth (where else!?) actually has. Do we really need to ask how he lost that eye?

So, Villa fans; next time you're seeing your mates' faces getting smashed off in a street brawl after a game, or those 'top boys' are giving you the once over just because you're in the claret and blue, just remember that: "it was all done in a laugh."

Grimmest sight in football?

If any other West Ham has the audacity to say to me that they think the Olympic Stadium is a good idea, then they can jolly well look at this. Even the hardest yob on the terraces could not be moved by this.

The memorial garden is shambolic. A grey, colourless and shockingly minute area flung without thought into a remote corner of the carpark at Coventry Shitty's stadium. What is the point of this? I hear you ask.

Next to this pitiful display reads a plaque stating: "The turf, soil and shale for this memorial garden are provided from Highfield Road, in memory of the Sky Blues supporters who had their ashes scattered at Coventry City's former home." The actual plaque itself fits in with the grey theme shown here and is a horribly imposing piece of granite etched over with adverts for the firm that provided it!! Hardly a fitting tribute.

If Karren Brady et all are not stopped, you will see a similar thing in just three years time at the bland, colourless and utterly pathetic Olympic Stadium that 0.0001% of Hammers fans actually want.

The same thing is about to happen to Southend United with Sainsbury's being built on Roots Hall.

I wouldn't call myself a Coventry fan, but I am from the Midlands and therefore I was happy when Coventry lifted the 1987 FA Cup. I only ever went to one match at the old Highfield Road stadium when Coventry were playing Manchester United (of all people) there with a dud of a guy from Tamworth that I had a 'thing' for at the time: Darren Morgan (aka 'Brain Dead'). But still, one of the saddest sights I ever saw was the image of the mangled stand at Highfield, contorted like some defeated monster in its death throes on the week the bulldozers moved in.

This is what will happen. And I have to face this twice over the next two years. People who don't understand me will find it hard to give a shit, and I don't blame them, but seeing this awful tribute really 'hammered' home the shape of things to come.

This is our future.